Well, This Is Embarrassing.

I'm sure you've all been awkwardly embarrassed before. Let's see if you can guess all of these modes right. If not, you're sure to become embarrassed.

1. Usually it begins with an increased heartbeat (thump…thump…thump..thump..thump.thump.thumpthumpTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP). Then it moves down into your stomach and you find it tense up ‘til (for women) it feels like that time of month again. Travelling down through your legs, your knees start buckling and your toes start tapping to that inaudible techno beat going on in your head. With all that blood pumping, your cheeks start to look like tomatoes and little beads of sweat start to leak out of your pores to create a sheet of glistening moisture across your forehead. It’s then that you feel embarrassed.

2. Embarrassment is sparked by failure, or the fear of failure, or incompetence, or flattery. It isn’t any of these things individually, but the reaction caused by them in certain situations. Take failure, for example. If you trip up the stairs when walking with a friend, you think to yourself, “Gah, epic fail.” However, the circumstances of this failure allow you to move on and laugh it off. But, if you forget the lyrics to the national anthem in front of thousands of people, they will think, “Wow, what an epic fail,” and you will feel embarrassed.

3. Embarrassment is unhealthy. Prolonged experiences of embarrassment can lead to anxiety and high blood pressure because of the increased heart rate. It can bring about severely unsociable tendencies because the fear of being embarrassed will prevent people from stepping out into public. Embarrassment allows someone to attack themselves for being silly, oblivious, or irresponsible. Embarrassment should be illegal, and all those who judge people and make them feel inferior or embarrassed should be outlawed, too.

4. I’ve been embarrassed before. It was in 9^th grade civics class (and I say this like it was the only time I’ve ever been embarrassed. Ha, lies. This is just one of the many times.) during our Constitutional Convention. It was meant to be a fun time, but I have been scarred forever. Politics/government/history was not my strong suit but I wanted to participate so I raised my hand to propose an idea. Turns out, the idea was so radically on the other side of the spectrum than what I believed. Everybody laughed. I still got a 29/30 on the assignment, though.

5. There are 3 types of embarrassment. There’s the funny type of embarrassment. Least disheartening, this type of embarrassment constitutes the “Whoops, that came out wrong,” and “I didn’t mean to say that” reactions. There’s the questionable type of embarrassment where one often asks “Should I be embarrassed?” because everybody starts to laugh when they weren’t intending to be funny. Then there’s the My-Gosh-This-Is-So-Humiliating type of embarrassment. This is the loud-fart-during-a-test-you-better-pack-your-stuff-and-move-to-another-city kind of embarrassment. Anybody who experiences this embarrassment has no luck whatsoever.

6. Once upon a time a boyfriend and girlfriend went to the movies. The girlfriend was very into theatre and had been in multiple plays at their high school. The boyfriend obviously had to attend the play alone because the girlfriend was in it. At the movie theater, the boyfriend leans over to the girlfriend and asks, “Hey, did you ever have time to go see the play?” The girlfriend, a little taken aback, leans back over to the boyfriend and says, “I was in it.” The boyfriend was embarrassed.